Friday, September 24, 2010

Sick

I'm sick.

No - not like every other day - where I'm twisted and inappropriate - I mean like - ill. Like massive headache and fever. GAWD I hate to be ill.

First - I hate to not be at work when I am supposed to be at work. I have work to do - that's why I have a job - because they need me to do work. Obviously if I'm not there, it isn't getting done. It makes me feel very guilty, and honestly a little paranoid. And yes - I realize that makes me crazy. I can't help it. My upbringing is such that even when I know things are okay - I still expect the worst. I feel guilty because I feel like I should be at work. I feel paranoid because I am afraid that if I'm not at work they will either decide I don't NEED to be at work, or they will decide someone ELSE should be doing my work.

Second - Daytime TV sucks. I mean - it really really sucks. And when you're ill - you don't feel like doing anything other than laying around watching TV. But when it sucks - you don't even want to do that. Lucky for me I have this shiny red laptop that I can lay around and surf, and facebook, and blog and shop...who needs daytime sucky TV when you have a shiny new red laptop??

Third - I can't think of anything I hate worse than just being ill. Headache - fever - OMG. I just hate it; on principle.

On a completely different note - I have two friends that are creeping me out a little. One, I would consider one of my very best friends. She is working really hard on losing weight and being healthy and I am so proud of her I could scream. But I believe that because she is succeeding at her quest to be thin, hot and healthy she is losing her patience with me as I sink lower and lower in depression. She even posted on her own blog that she has had enough. It worries me.

The other one - I thought was my friend but I am so not sure anymore. I've always kind of thought that she thinks really highly of herself and not so highly of me - which I suppose would make you wonder why in the world we are friends. What I mean is - she is somehow in a different class as me. She just is acting different lately. Like - she acts like she is tolerating me, where I thought we were friends. I know that sometimes I can be a little over the top - and I laugh alot ( or I used to) and sometimes when people are trying to do one thing, I'm busy doing something completely different, or making it difficult for them to do whatever it is they are trying to do. But - I just don't understand the total change in attitude. It's a little hard to deal with since I work so closely with this person.

Lastly - my oldest child is getting married a week from tomorrow. I have to finish up getting everything ready - since the wedding is in New York City and I live in Indiana. It's going to be a fleeting flying whirlwind trip - and while I am looking forward to seeing him get married, I am dreading the trip. I love NYC - LOVE it. But this trip we have to drive there, and only get to stay a few days - and in that few days we are focusing on the wedding so there won't be any time for sightseeing and touristy type stuff. I'm a little sad about that.

Okay - that's enough. Boring post this time...sorry.

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