At the urging of a good friend I've decided to have a little vent. I mean - I was a little concerned about coming here to my little slice of cyber-nation and only spilling down, depressing stuff all the time. But seriously - I gotta do something with all this stress. It's total chaos in my life right now and I gotta get it out somewhere. That somewhere is usually the shrinks office - but I just got a call from the shrinks husband who says the shrink is in the hospital with a gastro-intestinal problem. Could she have picked a worse time? Really? I need her. ( I'm not really that narcissistic. I know she's ill and if it's bad enough to land her in the hospital then she must be really sick and I'm definitely not happy about that. SO - I was just kidding about the bad timing thing. Sort of. LOL I'm kidding....I'm seriously kidding about the bad timing thing. A person can't help when they are sick. And I love my shrink to death so I don't want anything to be wrong with her.)
But the truth is....the chaos that is my life is getting extremely out of hand.
I have busted out a few fever blisters that I just know are from stress. They are really attractive too. Nice big juicy ones on my top lip. MMMMMMMM.
My house has exploded with baby things. My grandson has taken up residence at my house and I had forgotten how much STUFF it takes to have a baby around. Now - don't get me wrong - I LOVE that lil' man beyond love but I don't want to be "Mom". I just want to be Granny. And I don't "do" clutter. That is to say - my house may not be spic-n-span eat off the floor clean - but the 5 second rule would be okay - and I can't handle a bunch of "stuff" sitting around. It makes me crazy.
My Assistant has turned in to a condescending pain in the neck. She has been given a different position - and so now she thinks she is too good to not only do the job that she has been doing until such time as she transitions into the new one - but too good to speak to me too. Which totally fries my chicken.
We have two people leaving my work in the course of two weeks. It will totally change my job description ( which is ok) but it probably will be really AWFUL during the transition and I'm not in any way shape or form looking forward to the mess that will come from this.
And I have a headache. A big HONKIN' no kidding POUNDER.
And my bones hurt. Because the stupid weather won't make up it's mind. Is it winter? Is it spring? Is it winter? Is it fall? Who knows? And I don't care what anyone says - it ( for ME) is not an old wives tale. My bones hurt and I want it to STOP.
On the flip side of all this down and depressing stuff...I am newly addicted to three things:
Idol: Which ya'll already knew due to one of my older posts. I am lovin' the crop of youngin's this week.
Kindle: I am reading " The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. I can't stand it when I have to stop.
My New Iphone 4: Cuz they aren't kidding....there's an app for that. What ever "THAT" is...there's an app for it...I promise. I love it.
Okay. That's it.
While I can't say that I completely know how you feel I can sympathise with the "aching bones". My joints ache with changes in the weather and, while I'm not a big fan of summer (too hot and muggy to crochet), I'm not looking forward to winter.
ReplyDeletei am glad you feel for can 'spew' here. I wish I had your guts, but I am too deflated to think the human race really cares to even try to expose the hurt in my heart. But I am thankful you are here and that you are raw and honest with your life. It helps me get out of my brain and think of things others are going through. I don't feel so powerless, I know there is nothing I can actually do to ease your burden but I am still hanging on to the power of honesty and prayer. And praying for you is a blessing to me.
ReplyDeleteI too can't stand clutter, and I know your home (when we were neighbors) was ALWAYS neat and clean and NO clutter at all, even with four kids! I know this son and his apartment you described and I can't imagine you having all that in your home. It would make me feel unsettled plus you already feel out of sorts in your home because of the break in. And now your life line (therapist) is sick, I can see how this would be totally unsettling, home, work, and therapist. But I also know you have been through hell in your life, and God has made something beautiful out of all that crap. Your wonderful hubby is such a strength to you, and your seven fold for all that was stolen from you in life. lean on him and let this draw you closer, don't forget he is for you and by your side. ((((hugs))))
Vent all you want. This is your world and you can do what you want with it. Plus, I think it helps everyone else when someone else says their life sucks, too.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets better. Transitions suck major! So do uppity assistants.
And I totally get what you said about your shrink. My therapist would routinely take two weeks off around Christmas. Are you kidding? If ever I am going to need therapy it's when I'm trying to navigate the family mess around the holidays. I know she has a life and family to work around, but what about ME?