If You Really Knew Me

I saw this on another blog and was fascinated by what I read. So - I think I will try it. I may have to do it a few times - but I will attempt each time to make it as interesting as is possible. Wish me luck...here goes....

If you really knew me;

You would know that my sperm donor was an alcoholic. I have no memories of him that don't include the smell of Wild Turkey, vomit and stale cigarette smoke. I don't remember him any other way than drunk or passed out.

You would know that I am the black sheep of my family. I am a profound disappointment to my Mother . My brother has always trumped me in everything I have ever done - and no matter what I do I will never live up to her expectations. I will always be a profound disappointment to my Mother. She is incapable of loving me for me, and finds it next to impossible to do anything but compete with me.

You would know that this hurts me deeply.

You would know that secretly I despise Christmas. It has become nothing but a commercial fiasco that makes me a little crazy. I love to give gifts to people but always find myself wishing I could have done more - which is exactly why I hate Christmas. It is the "more" ....it makes me crazy.

You would know that I try very hard to be a good friend, but always feel that somehow I fail miserably at it.

You would know that I can eat popcorn by the pound. If I was stranded on a desert island I would be perfectly happy with my Ipod ( with a never ending battery of course), toothbrush and toothpaste (never ending ...ah course) diet coke ( never ending ah course) and an endless supply of popped corn. MMMmmm...buttery popped corn and an ice cold Diet Coke....Heaven on Earth.

You would know that nothing makes me happier than the sound of a laughing child. And that I would have had a gazillion ( okay 3 or 4) more children if Cancer hadn't taken the ability to do so away from me.

You would know that if I could live anywhere or do anything in the world right now , I would live in a quaint little coastal town in Maine running a bed and breakfast and spending my days watching the water, writing and playing piano. ( Okay, okay, a little slice of TOTAL honesty - I would definitely be surfing the web too....there are SOME habits I wouldn't give up!)

You would know that this could go on for hours - so I will stop here.

Have a great weekend.