Halloween Shmalloween

I think Halloween should be against the law.

Well - PARTS of Halloween should be against the law. Like for instance - I think when closet hoochie mommas start yanking the "sexy" costumes out of the ol' closet - it's time to shut 'er down. Seriously. This concept has always cracked me up. Every woman has the word "sexy" as the descriptive in her costume. Someone is either a sexy cop, sexy fairy or sexy Strawberry Shortcake. Ahem - Strawberry Shortcake was NOT sexy. She was stubby, had a horrible hat and cankles. I'm just sayin'.

Once - at a Halloween party in my 20's a friend of mine came through the door in see-through lingerie with a tag hanging off her that said "$5 Hooker". Casually I walked up to her and asked why she decided not to dress up for the costume party.

"RIM SHOT"

True story.

ANY hoo - there are some costumes that I will never cram this new granny's hiney in - one being something so cutsie it makes me vomit in my mouth, and the other is something that even Hugh Hefners gals might be a little embarrassed in. Nope this granny should dress like...a granny. FER SHER.

The other reason Halloween should be against the law?

CANDY.

I'm just sayin'.

Because see - the other thing this new granny knows - is - there shalt not be left over Reeses Peanut Butter cups - cuz if there is...I'm finding a million ways to justify eating just one. Well, not just one. Cuz after all, if you buy them in the store ( not that I do, but if YOU do) you'll see that there are always TWO in a package. Which means - a serving is two. So - if there are left over Reeses Peanut Butter cups, you have to eat two. At a time. . . see? And that's just something this new granny need not do - or the day will NEVER come that I can even CONSIDER that naughty nurse costume. Not that I would consider it. But in case it crosses my mind....

well - you get the idea.