Wednesday, January 19, 2011

A New Experience

Yesterday - I had a phone conversation with someone who I was friends with in High School. We haven't seen each other in 30 plus years - but recently hooked up again on Facebook. Social Networking is a funny thing - when you find someone you knew from many years ago - in your mind they are still that person. I realize it is unrealistic to think that the person you knew 30 years ago is still that person - but when you have no reference except memory - it's hard to have a different expectation.

In the conversation - she told me she is on disability. She freely and uncoerced told me she had a diagnosis of Bipolar with psychotic tendencies. She further explained that over the years she has had several hospitalizations, two just recently - and that somehow in the past few months demons had entered her brain through a portal which had caused some muscle spasms. She also explained that she was sort of glad that she is on disability because she thinks God needs help down here and she would like to help Him fix the problems of the world. She is also convinced that someone snuck into her home while she was sleeping and took her picture.

Please understand that mental illness does not scare me. I am diagnosed myself with clinical depression and PTSD. I make no judgement about anyone about any circumstance in their life. It is not my place to judge.

That being said - I have to say - I am very sad. This is not the Daisy ( made up name) I knew. This is not the sweet girl who was in choir with me, was in drama, was part of the "group" I hung around with. It makes me sad to think that she is living a life of fear, a life of confusion and difficulty. It makes me sad that she is so unhappy. It just makes me sad.

I don't know why I felt the need to share that....but I did, and I thank you for listening.

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