I've been trying all morning to think of something interesting and profound to blog about. I was thinking that surely it's time to move on and stop writing such drivel. But the fact is - regardless of how hard I try I can't think.
I'm sure part of it is the utter insanity that is rising to peak levels in me now - as I am still not sleeping. I've had all kinds of advice on how to solve this problem from chamomile tea, Melatonin and Vicks Vapo Rub on the soles of my feet ( ??), to a complete bottle of wine before bed - or a swig of Nyquil or Benadryl. Here's the thing - I don't want to take medicine I don't need. I don't have a cold or the flu or allergies right now so I don't want to take medicine for those symptoms. And - while the idea of drinking an entire bottle of wine every night is somewhat appealing, I don't particularly want to have a stint in the Betty Ford Center - nor do I relish the idea of a hangover every day. ( let's be honest, wine hangovers are the worst!) I've taken Melatonin- but it doesn't seem to be working. The doctor I work for has advised that I try some meditation CD's before bed - or Ambien. I'm opting of Ambien. I've tried meditation. I can't do it. I can't turn my racing brain off. Flashes of the break in, flashes of my alcoholic father - white hot flashes of terrible things pop up and I can't concentrate on anything long enough to relax. So - that's a very long and drawn out way to say - my brain isn't working properly because it is sleep deprived - so I am very sorry that nothing profound or even slightly interesting will be written today. Please forgive me.
Tomorrow is my sweet husbands birthday. He hates to celebrate it, actually makes it pretty miserable for everyone if we even TRY to do something for him. So - I will be giving him a card and a cupcake and calling it good. He won't even like that. Oh well - we are going to see the wee grand babe so that is a good gift too. I can't wait. I haven't seen him since Christmas and this granny is having withdrawal.
Hope ya'll have a great weekend. I'm going to try some more art thingies - I'll let you know how it goes.
Sorry about the lack of sleep. I feel your pain. I have struggled with sleep for years.
ReplyDeleteI did find something that helped recently. I got prescription for Xanax for something totally unrelated. It didn't help with what I wanted it to, but it helped me sleep. It quieted my brain in a way I rarely experience.
I use a very low dose several times a week. I have to take it about four hours before bedtime so that I can function the next day. But it's amazing the difference a little real sleep has made. I know you said you don't want to try meds, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.