Clearly I haven't figured out how to make my blog look any better. It saddens me - because I have seem some really great looking ones out there. Whenever I try to mess around with the templates it just gets really really ugly - thus - my same boring look. Not so interesting huh?
News on the home front? Well - my bipolar suicidal son who had moved in with us has decided that he will be happier living with his new girlfriend. Oh - BTW - they've known each other a week. BUT - he's going to live there - and it matters not at all to him what we think. We warned him that this is a disaster waiting to happen - that all four of them get ONE "bounce back" and this one was his - and that when it all falls apart ( which we know it will) that the baby is the one that has a place to bounce back to. Not him. He seems fine with that.
In this same discussion I found out from my youngest that on the weekends they go over to the daughters house, play cards, drink beer and have a Mom bashing discussion. Apparently I'm the worst Mom on earth. Can do nothing right ever - and well - pretty much suck. Oh - and now that the bipolar suicidal son is leaving - that leaves a guest room available. Which my oldest called last night to say that NYC is kicking his pocket book all to hell and him and his wife need to move away - they were GOING to move back here but didn't want to call and ask because they felt like my plate was full enough. So they are moving to NC with her family. It makes me so sad that my son felt like he couldn't ask for help because of the other son. FML is what I say. FML
I did have one good thing happen at work. Remember I work for a place that provides therapy services to folks with disabilities. . . we have one consumer who has profound developmental delays - who has been rather stand -offish for months. Today - this nice young man gave me a hug. (!) Voluntarily. (!) I was moved.
Oh - and another BTW - no one has a recipe for chocolate layer cake that doesn't have all the calories and stuff.
I could cry buckets.
I'm sorry. It seems like the black clouds are really stuck at your house.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could sit down with you and walk you through the template thing. I remember that frustration as I tried to figure it out. I will probably redo mine before too long. I'll see if I can find any tips for you.
As for being the world's worst mom, I think everyone goes through that. I remember that stage, my twenties, when I thought everything wrong in my life was my parent's fault. I honestly think it's a natural part of development. It's how we learn to define ourselves. We kind of have to reject everything they gave us so that we can choose for ourselves. Then, after a while, their wisdow becomes evident. Try not to take it personally. This is about them, not you. My husband did it, too.
Yay for hugs from people with no agendas, freely given. I hope you held on extra long and sucked the love from it. It sounds like you could use it.
All I can offer is a virtual hug, but I do. And I say when your kids tell you that you suck you get to have the cake with no worries about calories.
Maybe you should watch Beaches or whatever your favorite cry movie is. Crying buckets might do you a world of good.