On Friendship

It's interesting to me how friendships work.....

In my life I've had some really good friends, some really great friends, some mediocre friends, and some "friends" that call themselves friends but really aren't so much. They are more like...people I know who really want to pour their souls out on my shoulders but don't exactly care that much about me and my life.

I can count on one hand how many friends I have now that I consider to be true blue I know I can count on friends.

One - we'll call Sheila. Sheila and I have known each other for over 10 years - she was just a young whippersnapper when I first met her - and has grown in to a fine fine young woman who is a really true friend. I know that no matter what - if I needed something - she would be there in a split second. I hope she knows that the same holds true for me. I think she does.

One - we'll call Julie. Julie is an interesting friend. She is self centered, full of herself and really thinks she knows it all and then some - but through it all - she really does care - and so for that I have to just look past the rest of it. It's hard some times - but in the end it's worth it. I don't get to see her very often  - so that's hard.

One - we'll call Theresa. I wish Theresa and I were closer. I've poured my soul out to her and sometimes she responds and sometimes she acts like I'm a two year old that needs to have everything explained to me. Sometimes she acts like I am a big pain in her ass. That's not what I need - or want.

So - I guess this is my round about way of saying I need a good friend in my life. Someone who truly gives a rats ass about me and the chaos that is my life. I try to be a good friend in return - I've always been a giver. But for now - I feel the need to be a taker - or at least a borrower -

Until I find that person - I will have to pour my guts out here.

Sorry. It won't be pretty sometimes.