On Being Conflicted

I'm conflicted today, trying to decide what exactly is on my mind. I have so much on my mind that maybe I'll just ramble and see where it goes.

Let's start with my "niece" - ehm...we'll call her Cindy. Cindy is 14 - so close to 15 she might as well BE - and she has had a HELL of a couple of years. She lives about 4 states away and yet we are very very close.

Cindy was in a car accident a couple of years ago that has scarred her physically, and whether she wants to admit it or not, it has scarred her psychologically as well. Over the course of the 2 following years she has dealt with a closed head injury, a severed nerve in her face, a broken arm, many many lacerations and road rash scars all over her upper arms, shoulders and unfortunately her sweet face.

Her parents were never married - and Cindy has had many years of bouncing back and forth from crazy Mom's house ( Mom lets her boyfriend give Cindy alcohol so she will pass out and leave them alone...) to crazy Dad's house ( Dad has bounced from live in to live in girlfriend to the one he has now who has 3 boys from a prior relationship, a toddler boy that is his and is pregnant with child number 5 as we speak. BTW Dad is an alcoholic and can't keep a job....) and now has decided she wants to live anywhere but where she is. She has died her hair jet black, pierced her tongue, and has started participating in sexual activities, to gain friends an influence others.

It makes me really sick.

And while I call her my "niece" she really is my husbands second cousins daughter. Whatever that makes her to me...it's easier to say 'niece' - so that's what I do. ANY way - she wants to come live with me. Just what I need.

The other thing on my mind today?

It is so not important I'm almost embarrassed to bring it up - but - since it drives me insane - I'm bringing it up.

The English language makes me angry. Actually - it's not the LANGUAGE that makes me mad - although it does sometimes, it's more - the WAY people use it that makes me mad.

Now before ya'll start pointing your cute little fingers at my face - I KNOW I say "ya'll". And I know I say a couple of other things that don't seem right. But - there are some things that just send me over the edge. Here's a few:

"Alls I want to do is...."         ALLS. ALLS? Really? What is an all? Can you hold an "all" in your hand? No? Then you certainly can't hold TWO of them, so you can't pluralize the word all. STOP IT.

" Oh, my bad!"      Your bad what? Grammar? Because "bad" can't stand alone like that. Your bad - breath? Your bad - attitude? Your bad....WHAT? STOP IT.

" There she was all in the floor...."    IN the floor? IN the floor? I didn't know you could go IN a floor. And I have tried - it doesn't work. How about ON the floor. Yes - ON. STOP IT.

I could go on and on...but I'm fixin' to go back to work. HAHAHAHAH! I know. I KNOW - "fixin' to?" Well I didn't say I was perfect.