I'm just going to jump right in.
You know what I hate? Double standards. I hate double standards with a royal purple passion. You know - the " Do as I say not as I do" syndrome? You know - where you get called on the carpet for something that the person doing the calling is notoriously bad about? Yeah - that.
It could be that the person doing the calling is just on my last nerve to begin with, I'm not sure - but clearly I am on hers. And while there was a time where I thought we were pretty close - I now feel like we are so far from close we are on different planets.
That makes it hard - because I sorta kinda work for her. Not as in FOR her - like she is my boss and signs my paychecks- but she does rely on me. Like - I am her "administrative assistant" in a way and so I sorta kinda have to make sure she is happy.
It used to be that I felt like I did a pretty good job. It used to be that I felt like she was pretty okay with how I do my job. But now - I feel like no matter what I do it either isn't good enough, isn't CORRECT, or in some way shape or form is just not right. And I am about over it. I have this really bad feeling that in my upcoming performance review -I'm going to hear about this. I just hope when I lay my cards on the table it is taken seriously and not just dismissed as it was last time.
So - how sick of hearing me bitch, moan, groan and complain are you? Pretty sick I bet. Sorry about that.
I will try not carry this on forever and a day. I promise.
This kinda reminds me of what my life was like when I had a job.
ReplyDeleteSorry it's difficult right now. I wonder if something has changed in her personal life or has her stressed out. When something that's been good is suddenly no good anymore, it usually means that the person judging is under some kind of stress. Like something is bothering them that they aren't acknowledging so they attack everything else instead.
ReplyDeleteI hope it gets better. Soon!